Making Waves – Emma Collings-Barnes on building belonging, in and out of the pool

Emma Collings-Barnes didn’t set out to become a coach. But over time, and with purpose, she’s become a respected voice in athlete-centred coaching and inclusive leadership.

As Director of Swimming at Mount Kelly, Emma has spent more than a decade not only developing students, but helping transform aquatics into a more human, honest and welcoming space for everyone.

“I’m a bit of a coach by accident,” Emma says, reflecting on her early days. “I made the GB team as a swimmer, then quit. But within weeks I was back, volunteering, coaching, realising I didn’t want to leave the sport behind.”

That accidental calling has led to more than 20 years in coaching, and 13 of them at Mount Kelly. But it wasn’t always an easy journey.

Finding a safe space and then creating one

In the early 2000s, coaching was still an overwhelmingly male and heteronormative space. “As a gay woman in a male-dominated environment, there were years where I felt out of place, judged, and at times openly discriminated against,” Emma shares. “There were comments, meetings where things were said about my sexuality, it just wore me down.”

Everything changed when she found the right environment. “I called Robin Brew, who I knew from years back, and he said, ‘Come to Kelly.’ Within weeks, I felt the difference. When I came out publicly, and some parents made hostile comments, my boss stood up for me, without hesitation. I’d never experienced that before.”

Since then, Emma has worked with her team, including her close friend and assistant director Greg, to build something special. “We’ve created an environment where everyone can be themselves. Swimmers, staff, wider community no facades, no fear. Just people being people.”

Shaping a new coaching culture

Emma’s coaching philosophy has evolved as much from her personal experiences as from her professional ones. “In the past, I probably overcompensated,” she admits. “I thought I had to be tough, authoritative, maybe even a bit scary, to prove myself.”

But over time, and especially since becoming a mother, that approach changed. “Now it’s all about relationships. When swimmers call back in 10 years and say, ‘That was the best time of my life,’ that’s success. It’s about the person, not just the athlete.”

That shift to a person-centred coaching model, one built on empathy, boundaries and mutual respect, is at the heart of what Emma believes swimming should be.

“You can know everything about the science of swimming. But if you don’t know how to build trust, how to understand the person in front of you, you’re going to hit a ceiling.”

Visibility, motherhood and staying the course

Emma is also one of few visible gay women in high-performance coaching who has navigated parenthood without stepping away. “Most female coaches come back after raising kids. I’m actively coaching with a young child. I want people to see that it’s possible.”

Her son, now nearly four, has shaped how she approaches everything. “Every decision I make, I ask myself, what kind of person would I want in my son’s life? That drives a lot of my empathy. I want him to grow up in a world where sport and life are kind.”

Still, the challenges persist. “When I was pregnant, someone from a local WhatsApp group made vile comments about me and my unborn child. That was 2021. We’ve come a long way, but not far enough.”

Advice to young LGBTQ+ coaches

Asked what she’d tell her younger self, or any young gay woman starting out in aquatics Emma is clear: “Say yes to every experience. But choose your people wisely.

“There are incredible, kind, supportive leaders in this sport, seek them out. And work on your soft skills. You don’t need to be loud, or aggressive, or tick a box. You just need to be honest, consistent and willing to learn.”

And she wants others to know her door is always open.

“If anyone needs a conversation or support, I’m here. It’s not always easy. But if you have the right people around you, and believe in what you’re building, you can absolutely fly in this sport.”

Where aquatics needs to go

For Emma, the future of aquatics lies in both access and attitude. “We want everything at Mount Kelly to be accessible. You don’t have to be in a squad to swim. If you love water polo, or lifesaving, or want to try something new, we’ll support that.”

But she also sees the need for deeper cultural change. “There are still people in the sport who smile at the inclusion messages, but underneath, they’re not really open. People feel that. And it hurts.”

Her vision? An aquatics world where difference isn’t just tolerated, it’s valued.

“We need to get to a place where it’s not ‘Wow, a gay female coach!’ It’s just, ‘Here’s a great coach.’ That’s the world I want my son to grow up in, and the one I want to help create.”

Through resilience, empathy and fierce authenticity, Emma Collings-Barnes isn’t just coaching swimmers, she’s building a community where everyone can belong, and become their best. That’s what it means to make waves.